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Joanna Rose Health and Wellness

Spiritual bullying- a growth opportunity no matter what side of the coin you're on!

As a coach, I walk a fine line sharing (intuitive) information with my clients that would benefit them without stating my interpretation of them and their life as their truth. I feel this an important discussion to address and saw a friend posted about it on social media. I felt myself having an internal conflict about it, so decided to explore the concepts more. I,myself, have been a "victim" of spiritual "bullying" and I've definitely done it to myself in the way of pushing myself into something I might otherwise stayed away from all in the name of "love". That noted, I'm sure there have been times (definitely unintentional) I've "bullied" someone else. If you were the receiver of that, I am sincerely sorry. Please read on...

This is what I saw posted on social media:

Top New Age Bullying Techniques

If something negative happens to you, it's because you created it.
If you encounter someone/something that's aggressive/violent it's because it exists in you (mirror theory).
If you feel the need to defend yourself, it's because your in your ego.
If you experience sadness, anger, outrage, or grief, it's because you are low vibration. 

Let's explore these one by one, and again, this is based on how I've seen these concepts used in the 9 years I've been hearing about them.

The whole "if something negative happens to you, it's because you created it" can be seen several ways. I think the perception lies in just that.....the perception you CHOOSE to have about it. You can choose to hear that as there's something in you that's wrong that creates negativity in your life (the shame based way of interpreting it) or you can choose to see it as you're so intelligent and your soul is so amazing that it attracts situations into your life for your growth and highest good. See how your interpretation makes a huge difference in this statement?  Now, you may be saying, "but the person bullying is the one using shame on me, not me on myself." Ok, I hear you.....and isn't that their "problem" then? Meaning, it stinks that that's how they're choosing to interpret this concept, but it doesn't mean you have to take on the same interpretation or agree with them. Hence lies the takes awareness on both the giver of said shame and on the receivers end on how to interpret it. It takes awareness. Not everyone is in the same stage or age of growth. Not everyone can see they may be bullying or hurting you unless you share that with them, and then they can choose to learn from it, or not. You can choose how you take someone else's interpretation or opinion of you. Just because they think it or say it out loud doesn't mean it's true. 

#2- The mirror theory doesn't necessarily mean that EVERY SINGLE PERSON you encounter is your mirror or you theirs, but the people you attract into you life again and again (ones you may see patterns in repeatedly or in general those closest to you) are mirrors for us, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. If you think about it, aren't all of use humans/spiritual beings generally wanting the same things in life? Love, acceptance, success at life, food, shelter, etc. Maybe it isn't such a stretch that anyone could be your mirror then? It doesn't have to be a bad thing. We all want those basic needs in life and some never received them. Some have awful ways of going about getting them, but it doesn't mean they're less than us or inferior right? I urge you be careful of the black and white thinking here. It's also important to note that it's not just those you attract into your life that may be aggressive or violent, but what about those who are loving and giving and amazing? You have those qualities too. 

"If you feel the need to defend yourself you're in your ego"..... Maybe you are and maybe you're not. If someone is telling you their interpretation of you because they're hurting and you're too busy taking it personally to really hear them and their hurt feelings than yes maybe you're in your ego.  In these cases, there is no need to defend yourself. Their interpretation isn't necessarily your truth and only YOUR AGREEMENT with them makes it so. If someone has a gun pointed to your head and is threatening to kill you, you are likely in fight or flight and that is not your ego and you're going to do what you can to save yourself.....because you're human. Some may disagree and say that is ego and that  if you could be "in trust" you'd know that all will go as planned even if it means you die. That may very well be, but the human part of me is going to fight to live. And that's ok. If it means I'm in ego, ok, I'm cool with that. See? It doesn't have to be so black and white and I don't have to get all attached to these concepts as if they make me "wrong". 

"If you experience any negative emotion it's because you're low vibration." I think anyone who would say this to another person is probably so detached from how their words affect others that while they may be "higher vibrating" in some ways they can't possibly be as conscious as they take themselves to be. This is the statement I'd say that has the greatest potential for actual real bullying (never have I said this to someone and I've never had someone say it to me). Emotions do have frequencies of energy attached to them. It may be true that that some emotions are lower vibrating than others, but the thing is, we're all connected and we're all manifest on this physical earth, and most of us experience feelings of sadness, anger, and grief from time to time. Some of us more than our share. Empaths, for instance, are going to likely feel those emotions more than most because they're picking it up from those around them. I think as we become more conscious of ourselves and our process, we're still going to experience those feelings, but we're going to know how to get ourselves on the flip side faster. We're going to become better at coping. We're going to know how to put ourselves in position to likely experience those feelings less because we'll know our triggers and in general we'll know ourselves better. That's true without anyone being offended or needing to offend anyone over it. Not to mention, we ARE NOT our feelings, so to say someone is lower vibrating because of experiencing feelings is silly. We're all at different stages of growth. We're all teachers for one another and no one is better then or less than anyone else. Also, we are and feelings are fluid. We can change moment to moment, so what is lower or higher vibrating isn't set in stone. 

I think the important thing, always, is to check in with yourself first before you take what anyone says as truth for you. I know many people like to get readings done to gain insight into their lives. Many of us seek teachers to learn from and tend to believe what is said about us from those teachers because we think they are more enlightened. Even if you have someone coming from a place of love and sharing something that would benefit you, if you're not ready for it at that time it can be stressful to hear. If someone says something to you about decisions you make or comments about your life you can ask yourself does this resonate with me? The beauty is, if you aren't sure, other opportunities will present themselves so you'll get feedback again and again for you to consider. Sometimes it takes letting outside information sink in and then you start to see examples of it in your life and even if you dismissed it as false initially you might find someone else's observance of your or your situation correct. I know there have been many times I dismissed something someone observed about me and got really pissed off at the time over hearing it. Then later, I noticed there was some truth to it and managed to make changes to address those things because they impacted the quality of my life. Other times, I've had people share with me what they think I should be doing (especially more in last 2 years since being a mom and having many experienced moms in my life) in my current situation. What they say may or may not have truth to it (it likely had truth in their life or they would not be sharing their wisdom with me), but I don't get upset and think they're bullying me. I recognize their loving words as them looking out for me, but I still do what I feel in my gut is right for me and my family. 

I think to say these concepts aren't accurate at all or 100% are accurate all the time is black and white thinking, and after careful reflection for me I believe they're accurate some and maybe even most of the time, but certainly not all. Remember, if someone does "bully" you, it's not because of you that they're bullying, it's because there is something in them that's driving them. This is a great lesson in not taking things personally and allowing others to have their own experience while you have yours. There is no "right and wrong" in this situation. It's a matter of difference of opinion or perception from where one is standing. 

What are your thoughts on this subject? Comment below.

1 comment:

  1. Nice! It does take the sting out of most of the assumptions, I've seen too many emotionally blackmail others spiritually but I must say, I've never experienced that from you <3