Expectations of Friends

Posted on August 4, 2012 Expectations of Friends

“That’s what friends are for!”
Have you heard this as a response when thanking a friend for being there for you or when they do you a favor? I used to agree with this statement....thinking friends should be there for me, should be unending support for me, and while I’m at it I should (the word “should” WILL be another blog topic soon) do the same for them. So, what’s the problem with this, you ask? EVERYTHING! It’s called codependency.....

Now before you start swearing at me under your breath, think about it.....isn’t that an awful lot of grief to be putting on your friend? I’m not talking about the occasional lean for support (we all want and need that now and again), but what if while going through the healing process there are months or years of feeling negative, heavy, and downright shitty? Do you want to put that burden on another person who is probably going through the same thing? From an energetic point of view, all you’re doing is darkening their light (unless they know how to shield themselves), and if all you do together is complain and wallow in your misery than what do you suppose you will attract into your life? More of the same, right? 

I went through more years of my life than I’d care to admit thinking this about my friends, and I was so intense and negative most of that time that I’m shocked they stuck around. Fact is, most of them were miserable too, and it’s true “misery loves company”. Eventually, having this expectation about friends caused me to lose a few people in my life, and I’ve since learned friendship is NOT about struggling through hardship. Yes, friends can and will be there if they can be, but the glue that really creates intimacy is fun, lightheartedness, and playtime! It gets us through the hard times in a wonderful way and invites more light into our lives.

Bottom line is having expectations about people or events is bound to cause disappointment, but to remain open and detached from the outcome? So much goodness can come from that. Growth, truth, and beauty! Even if at first it seems scary, remaining open has challenged me to grow in ways I never thought I could. I want more of THAT in my life.

Future blogs topics rolling around in my head:

1) expectations and putting people on pedestals 

2) inferiority vs. superiority complex

3) what is the energy field and proof it exists

4) energetics of food?

Feel free to comment or email me about what you’d like to see next.